Posts Tagged ‘relationship’

This is a new category I am starting – I am a newbie at this blogging stuff after all…

I want to share in the most matter-of-fact ‘voice’ that I, at times, suck at relating and all things relationship.

Especially when my stuff has been triggered. (or as @havi puts it…you are experiencing your hard)

A more gentler way I could say this (for myself) is that currently I am working with fear that I have around relationships. (doesn’t have as much oomph)

I do know a lot about relationships, connection and communication from experience, from my clients and from my schooling.

But I am also HUMAN.  Period.

I can be hard on myself.  I can be moody.  I have my fair share of triggers.

I have had a passion for how to live my life to the fullest and support others to do the same for as long as I can remember.

It became clear to me in my early 20s, that in order to do this I would have to better my communication and my relationships – especially the one with myself.  I looked around and found that my relationships mostly consisted of animals – dear loving animals.

I am now 37 and am still working on it…and I still have a passion for communication, relationships, connection, all creatures and their teachings.

My point is just to share that in my work, I suggest many ways to deepen and strengthen the relationship you have with your dear animal companion (in turn – strengthening the relationship you have with dear YOU) but this does NOT mean I am always good at practicing these things for myself and in my relationship with Starr (dear dog companion).

At times I need to be hit over the head…with maybe a paw…Starr’s paw. She actually has an all-knowing stare she uses when she really wants to get my attention.

What is it that ‘they’ say? You teach what you most need to learn.  Yah. That’s it.

So true.

What I want to leave you with here is a sense of camaraderie that you are not alone in your struggle with your animal companion or in your relationships.

One of the grandest things for me is knowing that if you are working on your relationship with your animal – whether that companion is a horse, dog, cat, turtle, bird or guinea pig – their love is unconditional and their patience seemingly infinite.

Relationship is a journey – a journey of surprises, gifts, growth, experience and many different feelings (a lot fun and a lot hard).  As you continue to get to know yourself…it does get easier.  And…you get ALL KINDS of seriously cool presents along the way!

I would like you to leave my blog supported and with a knowing that your feelings are honored here.

Do your very best to honor whatever you are feeling in the moment, take a break, do something totally different, sleep if you need to, hide if you need to and try to be ‘OK’ with not doing anything if you don’t want to.

And I will do my best to practice the same.  You have my word.  And I will share more here very soon.

I share much more about this in my ebook, The Way of Leadership – Manual and Workbook.


Read Full Post »

These are the words that came to me lately during a morning hike with Starr….

“Do everything…say everything…think everything with a TRUE HEART.” (or just do your best to)

Check in with yourself before you talk with a loved one about something you are concerned/worried/upset about.  Check in with yourself before speaking with a colleague or your boss.  Check in with yourself about the thoughts you are allowing yourself to think….at any given time….periodically…throughout your day.

Check in gently and just observe.  This can be viewed as an experiment.

All you need is curiosity at its best and then a tiny teeny bit of willingness to look.

This is NOT about judging yourself or being hard on yourself in ANY way.

My sharing this with you is just one way to become aware of how powerful your intention is when talking with someone and simply being with them. Especially when trying to communicate.

How you talk with YOURSELF, how you are when you are just being with yourself and how you communicate with yourself is at the top of the list, here.

This is where your relationship with your animal companion starts and it is also where it lives – IN the relationship you have with yourself FIRST.  Those of us that live with challenges in any of our relationships – whether they are with four-legged companions OR two-leggeds it always starts with YOU/yourself.  Yay.

Ask yourself any of the following:

“Will what I am about to do create a sense of unity between me and my animal companion/partner/friend or me and my coworker?  Will this bring us closer in some way?”

“Will this statement or question or my energy set up a space for the other to become defensive or feel segregated or judged – or continue to chew our favorite rug/shoe?”

“Do the thoughts that I am thinking make me feel good/creative/hopeful/grateful or judged/disappointed/negative?

Or…kinda like the garbage that gets crushed in the compactor on pick-up day?”

Try choosing to be gentle with yourself first in this moment…but realize you may not FEEL LIKE IT – and that is more than OK, also.

Just observe.  Make note.  Take some space. Breathe.

Your animal companion still loves you and still accepts you.  (we may want to try to follow their example – just sayin’)

Read Full Post »