Posts Tagged ‘struggle’

This is a new category I am starting – I am a newbie at this blogging stuff after all…

I want to share in the most matter-of-fact ‘voice’ that I, at times, suck at relating and all things relationship.

Especially when my stuff has been triggered. (or as @havi puts it…you are experiencing your hard)

A more gentler way I could say this (for myself) is that currently I am working with fear that I have around relationships. (doesn’t have as much oomph)

I do know a lot about relationships, connection and communication from experience, from my clients and from my schooling.

But I am also HUMAN.  Period.

I can be hard on myself.  I can be moody.  I have my fair share of triggers.

I have had a passion for how to live my life to the fullest and support others to do the same for as long as I can remember.

It became clear to me in my early 20s, that in order to do this I would have to better my communication and my relationships – especially the one with myself.  I looked around and found that my relationships mostly consisted of animals – dear loving animals.

I am now 37 and am still working on it…and I still have a passion for communication, relationships, connection, all creatures and their teachings.

My point is just to share that in my work, I suggest many ways to deepen and strengthen the relationship you have with your dear animal companion (in turn – strengthening the relationship you have with dear YOU) but this does NOT mean I am always good at practicing these things for myself and in my relationship with Starr (dear dog companion).

At times I need to be hit over the head…with maybe a paw…Starr’s paw. She actually has an all-knowing stare she uses when she really wants to get my attention.

What is it that ‘they’ say? You teach what you most need to learn.  Yah. That’s it.

So true.

What I want to leave you with here is a sense of camaraderie that you are not alone in your struggle with your animal companion or in your relationships.

One of the grandest things for me is knowing that if you are working on your relationship with your animal – whether that companion is a horse, dog, cat, turtle, bird or guinea pig – their love is unconditional and their patience seemingly infinite.

Relationship is a journey – a journey of surprises, gifts, growth, experience and many different feelings (a lot fun and a lot hard).  As you continue to get to know yourself…it does get easier.  And…you get ALL KINDS of seriously cool presents along the way!

I would like you to leave my blog supported and with a knowing that your feelings are honored here.

Do your very best to honor whatever you are feeling in the moment, take a break, do something totally different, sleep if you need to, hide if you need to and try to be ‘OK’ with not doing anything if you don’t want to.

And I will do my best to practice the same.  You have my word.  And I will share more here very soon.

I share much more about this in my ebook, The Way of Leadership – Manual and Workbook.


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This morning as Starr and I walked at the dam and met up with other dogs and their people I was suddenly clearer about a message that has repeatedly come to my attention. A reflective message that Starr is mirroring back to me. What a gift!

I have struggled, as many of you already know, with Starr’s reaction to other dogs. I felt nervousness, deep concern and I felt/feel responsible for her reaction to a dog that is unstable in their energy…i.e. the other dog also doesn’t know how to react to Starr or has had negative interaction in the past so is fearful or aggressive and acting that out with Starr.

At times, Starr tends to react to the other dog’s energy (because of her own past stuff) instead of being a leader and setting a relaxed tone for interacting. I just recently started telling her that now that she is an adult (she is 5 yrs old) that I expect her to be able to take the lead and set the tone and energy for interaction with others…i.e. if the other dog is hyper or demanding attention or aggressive in any way – I would expect Starr would remain calm and be the positive example.

Please understand that I still realize she is working her stuff out – just as I am. Yay.

My intention is to continue to allow her all the time and space she needs (and practice) to feel more and more confident with other dogs and their energy.

The mirrored part for me – the divine gift that she is showing me – is that I, also, do not have to let any outside influence determine my mood, my energy, my actions (or reactions), my decisions or the quality of my day. Period. Simple stuff. Not so simple to feel though.

I have had several challenges come up at once in the past couple of weeks. The challenges have triggered me in multiple ways. This in turn has made it even more challenging to stay focused on the positive and all that I have in my life that is good…that is love…that is choice….that is opportunity.

Thank you Starr – as always – for leading the way and pointing me in the right direction.

To growth! To love! To appreciation! To being in the moment!

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